Because of some beliefs, some parents feel it’s their right to influence their children’s decisions even when they are grownups. Speaking to ugabuzz, Emily Namakula, a resident of Nansana said that though it is very hard to believe, parents can be very bad humans
By Bayan Nalubwama
Growing up, every child needs to mentally feed on endless love, care and protection from their parents.
They need someone to stand up for them, nurture, guide and groom them into the best version of themselves when they grow up.
One of the Bible’s Ten Commandments commands children to honor their parents with assurance that they (the children) will have a long life on earth. But, what happens when someone, a child perceived as a shield, turns against them, and becomes the sword ready to finish their flesh.
Musician Irene Namubiru, a few years back shared the trauma she had to go through growing up, in presence of her biological mother and her new family.
“You see in Makindye, like any other kids in a house, when visitors would come, we would all rush to go greet them and this is how it always went… (A particular insensitive aunt, not my blood aunt of course) would introduce;
“Ono ye Piki mwana wa Boss asooka, Ono ye Tibeeti, ye mwana wa Boss owokubiru… Oli.. (Me) mujja Nanyina ! Or Oli… Mwana wa Mukazi. “For a long time I thought “Mujja na nnyina “was also my name.
Irene said that the only person who could have protected her from the world (her mother, only looked on as the others made her feel like she was destitute.
“There was only one person who could have protected me, the same person who took me there, the same person who looked on while lots of things happened to me in this house (Abuse, molestation, indecent exposure, violence in all its forms) the only person who knows my family, the one who denied me the right to my true family and the one who continues to live in denial and refuses to listen, She never protected me.” She said
According to Irene, 90% of all the miserable, disgusting and false information about her on the internet starts with her own mother that she has not been in contact with for 8 years because of her toxicity!
“I am tired of being threatened to be reported to “Social Media, bloggers, gossip mongers, friends and anybody I associate with” perpetually just because Maama aba Maama mbu era tasobya!
Nobody has disparaged me as much as my mother has in 25 years!
How do I even explain these things to my children?” She opened up in a shared direct message on Facebook.
Irene’s story is no different from that of American star Britney Spears. For over 13 years, Britney was inhumanly treated by her parents after her father, Jamie Spears was granted control of his daughter’s estate through involuntary conservatorship.
Britney, through a tweet on social media said to her sister who allegedly is their parents’ accomplice. “What dad did to me, they don’t even do that to criminals…so for you to sit back and act completely aloof to what has happened to me is honestly insane to me,”
Adding, “It took them years to give me a cup of coffee. People who have killed people and are in jail or on death row can have as much coffee as they want…so why the hell was my own family hiding coffee from me?”
Britney also accused her mother in a now deleted social media post, of playing a great role in ruining her life. “My dad may have started the conservatorship 13 years ago … but what people don’t know is that my mom is the one who gave him the idea. I will never get those years back. She secretly ruined my life.” Britney said
Because of some beliefs, some parents feel it’s their right to influence their children’s decisions even when they are grownups. Speaking to ugabuzz, Emily Namakula, a resident of Nansana said that though it is very hard to believe, parents can be very bad humans.
“I have seen a greedy mother do evil to her kids. She was manipulative. She always blamed them for her misfortunes. She would put all her daughters’ linen in the public. Everyone who went to her saloon can testify to that. Having a parent who speaks evil about you is the worst experience a child can ever go through. No one ever understands because a parent is a parent. The child then has to fight their demons alone.”
“Mothers of today can amaze you, there is one I heard on Mukunja’s show who had done some juju on her daughter to die in the Middle East since she had misused the daughter’s money and she had no intentions of paying her back or talking with her. The problem is that mothers these days have favoritism and they believe only those children they love so much can excel in life and the others can’t go beyond their favorite children. Biological mothers of this generation with material things! I have witnessed and I know it’s very possible for a mother to fight her own child. In fact, toxic biological mothers are worse than some stepmothers!” Reads one of the comments on Irene Namubiru’s story
Miss Hamidah Namatovu aka Ssenga Hamidah, a parent and popular marriage counselor believes that there is no such thing as a parent not loving their child. Hamidah says there are people who put some ideas in the children’s heads especially when the parent fails to give equal treatment to their children.
“It is true some parents can be toxic to their children but this is not because they don’t love them as parents. There is no mother who will carry you for nine long months, watch you grow and have no love for you. The problem is some parents are greedy and this starts to show as they grow older especially when they had not prepared for their later days. Another issue is, as a parent nurtures his\her children, there are people on the sidelines watching, waiting to criticize the parents’ weaknesses as they bring up their children. Many times, these people put ideas in the kids’ minds.” She said,
Miss Esther Nabudde, a family canceller says that there is a closer attachment a mother and the child get through breast feeding and motherly interactions. This bond, if carefully done she says done it creates a positive character development in a child before the age of 5 years.
However, she adds, “In the absence of a mother in the life of an infant, more so before the age of 5years, the child will be at a more disadvantaged situation in the absence of a mother and hence grow with only the surrounding environmental views which are not rebuked or challenged by mother’s opinion.”
She offers caution that the presence of a mother alone does not guarantee good child upbringing. “ In fact even the parents today need to keep learning how to raise Spiritually, socially and emotionally.